Time will never change us
by hopelesslygazingthestars
Summary: One shots based on Emison mostly. Feel free to send me prompts, please review and stuff to let me know how I'm doing. Follow my tumblr - notourtimeemison :) Generally set post time jump- I kinda feel like fetus has been exhausted at this point but I am not opposed if there is a good prompt.
1. Chapter 1

Prompt based on the gif set of Emily not telling Ali she joined the army. Slight twist to it but hopefully you enjoy. Angst upon angst, Emison eat your heart out.

Emison Fanfiction 1-Not goodbye-

"Hello?"  
"Hello Emily." A familiar voice rang through the phone. Emily's breath caught in her throat as she registered the voice of the unknown number.  
"Alison?" She questioned knowing full well who had said her name so delicately. "Yeah, I…" The voice on the other end trailed off. An awkward silence fell between the phone line momentarily. "Sorry, I got your number from Spencer…"she trailed off again. It was very odd for Alison to be calling Emily. They hadn't spoken in a couple of years and had only emailed a few times each year since Emily left Rosewood. Although she had left it on good terms with The blonde, the pain and trauma of thier past quickly drove them apart. They had communicated quite frequently the first few months but as Emily threw herself into college and Alison was everything that reminded Emily of her awful past, it was surprisingly easy to talk less frequently. Emily harbored such guilt, pain, betrayal that she wished for nothing more than to not be reminded of her home.  
"I hope that's okay." She heard the voice in the other end say with such uncertainty and vulnerability that Emily questioned the reason of this call. Thier lack of communication was not simply one sided, Alison's emails themselves had become less and less informative to the point of one lined responses. The physical distance had not been the cause of the breakdown of thier friendship but it certainly hadn't helped. Emily knew almost nothing about Alison's life now, only that she was at Holis, Emily only knew that from a passing conversation with Aria.  
"It's fine Ali, I only recently changed my number." Emily responded, cursing herself at how easily her nickname for Alison slid off her tongue.  
"How have you been?" Alison asked barely registering Emily's response. Her voice was far softer than Emily remembered. She sounded sad, almost like she had been crying. "I'm fine Ali, are you okay?" Emily asked curious to Alison's sudden behavior.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Alison asked ignoring Emily's question. Emily could hear the exhaustion in Ali's voice. She didn't need to ask her what she was talking about, Emily knew Spencer must have informed Alison that she had joined the army. More accurately dropped out of college after her first year and joined up. She had been training for the first year, travelled the world and now she was stationed in Texas near her parents home awaiting to be deployed to Afghanistan for the first time. Emily had thought of telling the blonde but she didn't know how, was afraid of what the blonde would say. Their relationship was complex even after all these years still not knowing where either one stood with the other. She knew she was wrong for not telling Ali about her decision, she knew she was wrong for pushing the blonde out of her life; but at times she still felt like that 15 year old girl so desperately in love with her bestfriend yet so afraid of showing it. She had pushed Alison away in the hope that she would somehow rid herself of the deep feelings she held for her because loving Alison had been the hardest and most painful things she had ever been through. Emily thought that not being reminded of rosewood and Alison would allow her freedom to move on but no matter who she dated or what she did Alison was still in her mind. With everyday that went by without speaking to the blonde Emily convinced herself she was getting over her, yet she found herself not very different than the first day. She recalls her decision to join the army as the quiet rang over the phone. She had pushed herself into the army because she thought by protecting her country she would distract herself and free herself of the hold that not only Rosewood held but also Alison.  
"Emily say something." Alison pressed annoyance seeping into her voice. "I'm sorry." Emily responded quite pathetically. Emily cursed herself for her poor apology. She heard Alison take a shaky breath. "You're sorry? How could-" Alison began before stopping again. "Say it." Emily pleaded. Even after all these years, after all her growth as a person she found herself in the exact same situation with Alison. Still pushing for her to say what she means, still pushing for her to admit that Emily means something to her. Emily shook her head at herself. Wondered how she had got here, how she had fooled herself into thinking she could move on from this girl who she feared may have her heart forever. "Why didn't you tell me?" Alison tried again. "Say it Alison don't let it be another thing thats left unsaid." Emily dared. " How could you do this, make this decision without telling me. I deserve to know." Alison said with that familiar dilaurentis fire. "You deserve to know?" Emily questioned her own stubbornness evident. "Why? Because you're my old friend from home?" Emily pushed further. "We were never just friends Emily." She nodded in agreement but sighed from pure exhaustion. "I didn't tell you because I thought you wouldn't care." The blonde laughed incredulously. "What's funny?" Emily asked annoyed. "You're lying. You didn't tell me because you didn't care." Alison responded with much more conviction than anything else she had said. "If you just rang to insult me I have better things to be doing." The blonde stayed quiet for a moment before she too sighed again. "Isn't it time we gave up this old game between us. We're far too old and tired to keep it up." Alison asked tiredness evident in her voice. "You want me to say what I'm feeling? Fine then, I will…I'm hurt that you pushed me away and left me behind like we never had anything. I'm hurt that you joined the army and didn't tell me. I'm hurt because you're going to Afganistan and I'm afraid I'll never get to see you again. I'll never get to show you that even after all this time you're still under my skin, you're still what I dream of at night…" She choked up towards the end. Her voice wavering from tears that Emily could imagine running down her face. "Im afraid to lose you even though I never really had you." To say Emily was shocked was an understatement. She had never truly understood what she meant to the blonde, and now to have this huge admission left Emily even more confused than before. Emily didn't know what to say as she listened to Ali's unsteady breathing over the line. "I should have said something but I was selfish and I was- am hurting too Ali. I've wanted nothing more than for you to tell me you care, I waited a long time to hear you finally admit that there was something between us-" the blonde cut in to say," I did a long time ago…but I guess you didn't believe me." Accusation clear in her voice. "A lot went down back then. We both did things that hurt us both. We ruined any chance we had." Emily admitted sadly. "I wish we could go back to that night in my bedroom…we should have packed our bags right then and there and ran. Ran and never looked back." Emily smiled sadly as she remembered that night. "We could have finally got our forever in Paris," Emily responded quietly. Silence fell between them once again. "Maybe we still can?" Ali asked her voice laced with hope. Emily's frown returned once again as she thought. It was too late for Alison and Emily to find a future together. They were far too different and apart both in distance and in spirit for it to work. "Maybe in a different time or place we would have had a chance." Emily replied solemnly. "I'd leave it all behind for you." Alison pushed. " I'm going to Afganistan Ali. You're with Rollins. There's so much ruined between us and we haven't even been together. There's too much here." Emily heard a faint sob over the other end of the line. Her own tears raced down her cheeks as she spoke. "I'm sorry Alison." It was silent for so long after than Emily wasn't sure if Alison was still there or not. "I won't accept it. Sorry isn't good enough Em." The blonde finally said. "Things aren't the same as they were. Yeah there's a shit tonne of baggage and pain but things are different now. We don't have to be afraid anymore. Cece is better now, she can't hurt you or me, she changed. We could start again, if you just try… I could make you happy, if you let me." The blonde was pleading with Emily now and it surprised her. It pained her to hear it and was almost agonizing to imagine them together. "I know you could make me happy…. But, there's no hope for us or a happy ending. I think deep down you know it too." Emily could really not see a way forward for the two of them, the things they had done to eachother as teenagers could not be ignored. Emily especially felt disgustingly guilty at having believed Alison was 'A, ' the terrible person who had tortured them for years and caused multiple deaths. The terrible person who had nearly killed each of her best friends and cyberbullied, emotionally and psychologically toyed with them. Emily had allowed herself to believe it and had done everything possible to put Alison in jail for murder. These were things she could not ignore. That same person had turned out to be Alison's own sister who was not shunned out by Alison but loved and helped. Emily couldn't bare to even say Cece's name let alone allow her to be a part of her life. Yet it wasn't only Emily who had wronged Alison. Alison had been no angel to her either. Alison had been a nasty girl who played and manipulated Emily as a young girl to the point that pushed Emily into believing she could be 'A'. Alison had let Emily fall for her but in a way that kept her close enough to love but far enough away to never be anything. Alison had allowed so many terrible things happen. Emily had fallen in love with a girl who didn't exist, a sweet girl she only saw glimpses of. Emily had not allowed herself to see all of Alison; the good, the bad and the ugly therefore never being able to be truly be in love with her. Even if the past was the past, those very experiences had molded Emily and Alison into who they were now. Emily had no idea who Alison was now, only that she was in teacher training and dating a young psychologist named Rollins. Alison no longer knew Emily either, she had changed. Whether for them better was for others to judge, she only knew that she was different. Perhaps colder, tougher but ultimately different. Emily honestly believed that thier relationship was better off left alone. "So where are we supposed to go from here? Because I can't be just your 'old friend from home' anymore." Alison asked desperation clear in her voice. "And I wouldn't want you to be." Emily said immediately. "So not friends at all." Ali's voice faltered from the other end of the line. "Don't see it that way. I want you to move on Alison, I really do. You deserve to be completely and utterly happy and loved for everything you are. You deserve someone who can't judge you from your past and only someone who looks at you and sees thier future…so don't worry about me. Maybe I'll find a happy ending too. When you think of me I want you to see those two girls sitting in the library floor so madly in love and reading Charles Dickens to eachother. Two girls sharing thier first kiss. I want you to of me as the the girl who hoped on a plane to Paris, leaving everything behind, with a beautiful girl named Alison with the most spectacular eyes. To think of girl who loved you and will love you for the rest of her life…maybe we will meet again, maybe we won't but it's time to let go." The words flowed from the brunettes mouth like poetry, tears once again streaming down her cheeks. She wasn't sure if the words she spoke were true but she believed them nonetheless. The sniffles from the phone line indicated Alison was once again crying. Emily was interrupted from her phone call by a fellow female soldier named Leah. She was being called out for duty in two days. Alison was obviously listening as she heard a faint gasp over the phone. "I'll be out in a minute Leah." Emily said wiping away her tears. "Take as long as you need Fields, I'll cover for you." Emily smiled back at the sweet girl before returning back to her phone call. "Ali listen-" she began before being cut off. "Stay safe Em." The blonde said quietly. "I will, I can handle myself don't worry." Emily responded just as quietly. "Goodbye Ali." She waited for her own goodbye to come but it never came. Instead the blonde said, "you may believe it's easier to look at us as those girls who dreamed of running away to Paris but it's not. I refuse to let it go. So I'll be here waiting for you, for however long it takes for you to find your way back to me. I don't care if it takes 10 years I'll be waiting on you." She said voice filled with passion. "Look Alison I have to go-" she began. "I know but I had to say it." A few moments silence came before Alison finally said goodbye, "I love you Em." Emily smiled sadly before saying, "I love you too Ali." Emily hung up not being able to take it anymore. It worried her that Alison was right because just like that a 10 minute phone call can send her up in flames. Feeling everything for the girl she left behind so many years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Emison confess their feelings. Set 6B-

As Emily drove from the airport back to Rosewood after four long years she couldn't shake the anxiety filled her every vein. Four long years since she had left her childhood home and everything that came with it. The only thing she had allowed to stay with her was the friendship with the very four women she was going to meet. She had managed to stay in contact with Hanna, Aria and Spencer easily, having spent years tortured together they had almost become a part of the very skin that covered her bones. However, there was one woman that she had pushed away in an effort to move on. The blonde haired beauty with ocean blue eyes that exposed her very soul and yet were so unreadable that made Emily hooked to her like a drug. She had spent more time thinking about Alison over the years than she had trying to move on. At times it drove her to the point of 3 am walks because she just couldn't shake her. Emily can not recall a time she didn't love Alison, and even now she feared she still did and that she would fall apart the moment that brown met cerulean blue. A few months into college Alison had diffused out of conversations between the girls, at first Emily had believed that it was too painful to talk about her without bringing up the torment of her sister and the years they had endured the torture; however I think it was more for Emily's benefit. The other girls had heard about Emily's troubled love life with a queue full of flings and affairs. Emily wondered if they too had sussed out that Emily was never truly over Alison. As Emily thought about her past in rosewood and everything that she had left behind running she began to panic as she saw the old 'Welcome to Rosewood' sign post. She could feel all her muscles tense up as her surroundings were all too familiar. This visit was an arranged meet up before thanksgiving holiday. Emily's parents had moved permanently to Texas meaning she was staying at the Marin household for the short week stopover before leaving for Texas. It had been nearly a year and a half since she saw any of the girls, and a full four years since seeing Alison. Her mind kept going back to the blonde no matter what she focused on, then in no time she found her taxi outside the Marin front yard. She paid the driver and pulled out her suitcase just as she was jumped on by her favourite blonde friend and Aria. As she hugged the two girls in return she watched as Spencer await patiently for her own hug. She literally had to peel off Hanna before she could even move to embrace Spencer. After being bombarded with a million different questions from the 3 women she just soaked in the atmosphere before saying, "God I missed you guys." She was not expecting to feel so relaxed and at home once she had settled in, especially considering her near one panic attack in the taxi. The four girls spoke as if not a single day had gone by, as if they were still the same teenagers arguing about 'what Hanna meant'. Even though they had changed their connection had not. They conversed for so long they had not noticed how dark it had gotten outside. Emily had found out that Spencer as predicted had been excelling at college along with Aria. Aria had even had a book published as well as moving towards opening her own gallery. Even Hanna had gotten her act together and had been promoted from intern to full time member for a fashion brand. Emily was almost embarrassed to say that she was kind of just floating though college without making any concise decisions. She hardly added much to the conversation simply enjoying rediscovering her best friends. She did however become a little more invested when they very name that still made her heart race was mentioned. "Anyone heard from Ali yet?" Aria had asked looking at me. "We're not really in touch anymore," I answered meekly. "Oh really, I didn't know, I just assumed since you two were…" She trailed off looking for help from the other. "Since you two were in love and had like a secret relationship for like the whole of highschool," Hanna blurted out before earning a hit from Spencer next to her on the couch. "What did I say something that wasn't true?" She said annoyed at Spencer. The brunette ignored her and responded to Aria instead, "she couldn't make it today she was out of town with Jason visiting…" For a second the atmosphere in the room became tense and uncomfortable. The girls all looking at each other with horror playing behind their eyes. "Cece." Aria finished Spencer's sentence. "Last time we spoke she said Cece- Charlotte was living in Cape May with their grandmother." Aria elaborated. "Yeah that was a couple months ago now, she says that psych doctor actually helped her compared to Radley." Spencer said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "What that doctor Rollins?" Hanna asked. "The same doctor Rollins she's dating?" Aria added realising too late her mistake. Emily tried to play it off, even though jealousy was now seeping it's way through her. It hurt to think that Alison had moved on, hurt to think that things were working out for her when Emily's life was so unorganised and out of control. "Who's doctor Rollins?" She asked attempting to keep the bitterness out her voice. "Don't you remember that young doctor that treated Mona at Radley?" Emily nodded as she vaguely recalled the fairly handsome young doctor. She tuned out as the subject topic shifted on to Mona. About 5 minutes later the doorbell rang and instanteously everyone's guard went up, I guess this was the lifelong side effects of the 'A' game. "Hanna were you expecting someone this late?" Aria asked. "No it's like 11pm," Hanna called out as she left to go answer the door. "Should we go with her?" I asked slightly alarmed. But before I could get up Hanna had walked in squealing. "Look who I found!" She said virtually pushing the girl into the room. Emily breath was taken away, her heart sped up. She thought she probably looked a fool just gawping at the woman, but she didn't really know what to do with herself. To think Alison had been the most gorgeous girl Emily had ever seen as a girl, now however she was beyond words. She still looked young but there was a certain maturity in her features, he long now golden tresses still not a hair out of place. She had filled up a bit with curves in all the right places that had Emily's mind spinning. She just couldn't look away as she stared at her. Their eyes connected and Emily once again felt like that young girl still hopelessly in love with her best friend. Their eye contact was broken as Ali hugged each of the other three girls. For the first time in a long time Emily felt awkward, didn't know what to do with herself. She stood and walked towards the blonde going for an embrace only to be met with a slap in the face. All the girls gasped and looked around not really knowing how to diffuse the tension. "Ali?" I said voice wavering as I held my cheek. "I'm sorry I just-" she began. "I just got caught up in-" she stuttered. "Are we missing something?" Hanna asked looking between the two ex lovers. "Maybe they need a minute alone?" Spencer stated more than asked. "Yeah we should probably go get some alcoholic beverages." Aria added ushering Hanna out the room. The blonde began to protest but left anyway. The two women looked each other up and down with a variety of emotions playing across both their faces. Emily watched as Alison finally settled on relief as she pulled Emily in for a hug. At first she was surprised but easily settled into it as the blondes familiar scent encircled her. She hated herself for falling so easily into old ways, hated that the arms that circled her midsection felt like home. She felt the most at peace in a long time on the few moments that she was in Alison's arms. "Can I ask what was that for?" Emily mumbled with her face still buried in the blondes hair. Alison pulled away and examined the brunette a face and tenderly trailed her fingers along Emily's cheek. "I'm sorry em, I had no right," she said dropping her arms and taking a step back. Emily missed the warm heat of Alison's skin on her own and she cursed herself for even thinking about it. "That's not an answer," Emily said raising her eyebrows questioningly. "When I saw you I was just so angry that it had been so long since I'd heard from you. I got caught up thinking about how you pushed me away so coldly after you left…and I literally just snapped." She explained her face masked with a serious expression yet unreadable emotion. "Wow, you're actually being straight up about our feelings. I guess Doctor Rollins really is a miracle worker," I responded sarcastically. Emily was surprised at her own coldness and at the fact her jealousy too had made her snap the moment she saw Alison. Her eyes dropped to something shiny on the blondes finger. Her heart plummeted to the ground as her mind out two and two together. It felt like a physical blow and she didn't know how to process it. She wanted to be calm and react like a sane normal person but just like Alison her emotions regarding the blonde got the better of her. You would think after so many years things between them would have had time to simmer down but it seemed that things had only become more heated to the point of boiling the lid off once in sight of one another. "You have no right to judge me-" Alison began as she too looked down to what Emily was intently stating at on her hand. Emily raised her voice at the blonde," whatever Alison, I don't care." Poison seeped into her voice. She new she could stay here, the room felt like it was closing in on her and she headed for the door hastily. A hand landed on her wrist causing her to stop momentarily, "you don't get to run from this too," Alison said staring up into her chocolate brown orbs. Emily's eyes had already filled with tears at this point. She couldn't face to look at the beauty any longer it almost burnt her eyes like looking Ito the sun. She snatched her arm away and barged past the blonde and out the house, not waiting to listen to the protest of her other friends following her out the house. Once outside she realised she didn't have a car to escape with so she took to hurriedly walking aimlessly.

She had walked for nearly an hour when she realised where she was. She sat on the same kissing rock that Alison had bought her to so many years ago. The same rock she had had her first kiss, her first kiss with Alison too. That day had been so bizarre, with Alison having spent all day at her very meanest only like to later on escape with Emily and show nothing but pure tenderness and sweetness. She remembers feeling so elated for days, she wasn't sure she was ever going to recover from her time at the kissing rock. It had become a sacred place for her where she would come to think and feel at peace. But now she was so angry with everything. She was angry with herself for allowing herself to still cling so desperately and shamelessly to everything she shared with Alison. She was furious with Alison for still having this hold on her. She was angry because even now she couldn't still fully decipher what she was feeling towards the blonde and where she stood with her. She knows it was her fault the relationship disintegrated. She was the one who had stopped responding to Alison's emails and texts suddenly, the one who had rejected all the blondes calls, the one who had changed her number without letting the other woman know. Yet here she was truly livid because the blonde had taken the hint and decided to move on. However, she knows that they had grown apart much earlier than that. The dollhouse had been the straw that had broken the camels back and Cece being Alison's pyscho sister who had tortured Emily and her friends had been the knife that had finally killed the camel. There had been much left unsaid, so much lies, betrayal, lack of trust, guilt and blame between the two and they had yet to be an actual couple. Emily didn't see anything salvageable but she still felt absolutely everything for the blonde.

Hours later Emily returned back to the Marin household to find the other girls all asleep in the living room. She had smiled to herself watching the girls look at ease in their sleep for the first time in years. She even smiled as she watched Alison breath in and out. She looked so very young again and also beautiful. She had really forgotten how much Alison's beauty affected her. She couldn't help but to walk over to the couch Ali lay on covered with a blanket. She sat down on the floor next to her face and gently moved the few strands of hair that splayed across the blondes face. Emily wasn't all that surprised when she met blue eyes as her lids opened lazily. "I'm sorry," she whispered. A smile tugged at Emily's lips as the blondes eyes closed heavily. "We seem to be saying that a lot today," Alison replied opening hers once more. "Hmm" was all Emily said before she found her hand brushing at Ali's face once more. Alison was unable to really hold Emily's eye contact as sleep kept calling her. Emily thought she would fall asleep soon, yet she managed to get up and make room on the sofa. The blonde yawn as she lifted the blanket indicating Emily to move in. She thought about protesting but was not in the mood to argue again today. She slipped in to be spooned Alison on the lay down sofa. Ali's arms found their way around Emily's middle and Emily didn't push her away and instead intertwine their fingers. She felt Alison's chin at her shoulder and sighed content with having Alison's scent and arms around her. Just being surrounded by everything Alison made her feel better even if it was only for tonight. She was shocked to hear Alison suddenly whisper into her ear. "Are our initials still on it?" Ali asked curiosity clear in her voice. Of course she would have known exactly where Emily would have run to. Emily felt the need to turn around and face Alison. She found herself staring into the cerulean blue eyes. Eyes that seem to move in waves just like the ocean. She'd forgotten what it was like to be so intimately close to Alison her breathe caught. She forgot just how overwhelming it was to only be able to see Ali and nothing else. She tried hopelessly to not look at the plump heart shaped lips opposite her. She knew she was weak when it came to the blonde. She had almost forgotten the reason she had turned around, to answer her question. "It's still there," Emily replied earning a small smile from Ali. She watched Ali who she could tell was also not trying to look at the brunette's lips. Then, it was just like that night in Alison's bedroom; Alison's same genuine vulnerability in her eyes and Emily's weakness for her. Their lips met somewhere in the middle, their eyes shut and it wasn't obvious who kissed who just that they were now kissing. This kiss however was different from before. Where the earlier had been shy and almost hesitant touches of the lips; this one was hard and passionate. It was fire and a battle between the two filled with more emotion than ever before. Their tongues now battled for dominance once Emily had taken Alison's bottom lip between her lips. There was accusation, longing, anger and love pushed into the kiss by both sides. Emily quickly found herself breathless, amazed by how Alison's kisses still made her yearn for more. There were no lips softer than Ali's, no tongue sweeter and no kiss as magical as hers. They were both quickly pulled out of the moment as they noticed Hanna shifting in her sleep on the sofa next to theirs. Then unlike before Emily turned around leaving Alison more bewildered than ever.

The next day went by quickly. The blonde and Spencer had left by the time Emily had awoken. All five women had later met up for lunch and hung out in Spencer's barn later on. There had been no talk of what had transpired between the Emily and Alison during the day. Emily could feel that Alison was a lot more distant towards her however, never directly speaking to her unless necessary.  
The day after all of them had once again hung out and even met up with Mona. It turns out that like Alison, Mona too was engaged and not surprisingly to Mike. Emily had to keep her eyes from rolling every five minutes as they all had gushed about Alison and Mona's love lives. On the fourth day the women had done separate things and decided to meet up for one last sleepover before they would eventually begin to go their separate ways once again; with Spencer and Aria returning to their new lives within the upcoming couple of days. Emily had arrived later to the sleepover after visiting Toby alone, since him and Spencer were no longer together. The girls especially Hanna had already started drinking. She was greeted with a slightly tipsy Hanna and giggling Spencer and Aria. Alison had waved at her from her position laying on the floor. "God you guys are still like a group of teenagers." Emily said taking the only empty spot on the floor opposite Alison. Emily drank a little to catch up with the other girls being careful not to get drunk, considering she was still a relatively emotional drunk. A small while later Hanna suggested they play drinking game which she forced everyone into. After a failed 'Never have I ever' they settled on 'Truth, dare, drink'. The girls were almost drunk at this point because Aria had already been dared and succeeded into a steamy prank call. It was Emily's turn now, with Hanna asking the question. Emily held her breath in anticipation because drunk Hanna had a way of stirring trouble. "Truth or dare Em?" She asked with a wicked grin across her face. Their eyes met momentarily as a silent conversation went on between the two. Emily considered it knowing either one could be cataclysmic. She responded, "dare." Hanna smirked as she blurted out her pre-prepared question," I dare you to kiss the hottest girl here." Aria and Spencer shared a look as Spencer tried to intervene,"Hanna leave Em and Ali alone, don't make things awkward." Aria went to scald the other blonde too before she was cut off by Hanna, "why its just a kiss, it's not something they haven't done before…" a smile played across her face, as if she was please with herself. "Hanna," Alison warned in a dangerous tone. "Haven't done before recently," the blonde finished off her sentence. Aria and Spencer looked between the two girls shocked, awaiting confirmation or denial. "You still haven't done your dare Emily," said Hanna still grinning. What happened next surprised them all, Emily turned to Hanna and grabbed her face pulling her into a close mouthed kiss. Hanna surprisingly reciprocated and after about ten seconds Emily pulled away. "If you'd wanted a kiss Hanna all you had to do was ask," Emily said pleased with herself. Hanna sat there with her mouth open not knowing how to react causing them to burst out laughing. Except there was one person who wasn't fully laughing, there was a set of blues eyes Emily could feel staring daggers at her. She could see that Alison was perhaps hurt or even jealous but it quickly flashed away leaving that long perfected unreadable expression. The game continued with Spencer having a much nicer dare for Aria. It was now Alison's truth with Aria asking, the blonde knew that the small brunette would take pity on her and no doubt ask a sweet question. "Who was the first person you were in love with and the first person who fell in love with you?" The question was intended to be harmless but something had Emily alert and apprehensive about Alison's response. No one really knew what answer to expect. Except Emily who assumed her answers would be, perhaps Ian and herself. It was silent as everyone waited for her answer. "The first person I loved was Emily," she spoke confidently looking straight at her brown haired ex lover. This raised a few eyebrows in the room including Emily's. "The first person who really loved me I think was…Lorenzo." Alison finally stated no longer looking at Emily but Spencer. A collective breath was taken at the bomb. "Ohhhh shit." Hanna said looking between Alison and Emily. Aria and Spencer didn't know where to look and suddenly their drinks had become so very interesting. Emily looked at Alison thinking over what she said, her pain clear on her face. "Lorenzo?"Emily questioned incredulously. Alison looked up to meet her eyes. "What so you're saying I never loved you?" Emily asked pain evident in her voice. "I never said that," the blonde responded calmly. She couldn't look at Emily especially when she looked at her with wide eyes and every emotion worn on her face. "Exactly what are you saying then?" Her brows frowning. "I never said you didn't love me. I just don't think you were in love with me-" she began before being cut off, "how would you know if I was in love with you or not?" Emily's voice was beginning to raise. "You didn't really know me when you thought you were in love with me. No one did back then. You could see the nasty, ugly parts of me; your crush on me clouded you to the monster I honestly was. How could you love someone like that? Someone you didn't trust as far as you could throw?" Emily sat up straight to address Ali. "I saw you for exactly who you were Alison, and maybe I chose to focus on the good and sweet girl I only saw glimpses of, but ultimately I knew exactly who you were. My 'crush', as you so dismissively put it, did not affect my judgement on you. You're mistaking two completely different things here, because you seen I was in love with which is why I accepted you for everything you were." Emily spoke passionately with tears stinging her eyes. Alison was silent for a moment before replying, "well for someone who was supposedly in love with me you have a funny way of showing it." Her voice was laced with accusation. Emily barely registered Aria saying, "I think this is our cue to go for a walk," and the women leaving before she replied with same fervour as the blonde. "I could say the same about you." At this point they were face to face wearing a rage of different emotions with every second that went by, but what was clear was that it wasn't over between these two. "Really?! Because for as long as I can remember it is me that's been pushing and pushing for you to see me, for you to love me," Alison began shouting before her voice towards the end. Emily had never seen the blonde so unabashedly honest and it knocked her off kilter, disoriented her even. " I know I was no angel but; I was the one who saved you from 'A' more than once, I was the one who got you out of the dollhouse, I was the one that forgave you for putting me in jail, I was the one begging for your attention since you left but I was also the one you pushed away for that crazy bitch Sara, for college but now I don't know why you're still pushing me away." She no longer raised her voice. Tears had already fallen from the blondes eyes. Exhaustion was already evident in her voice and it set the atmosphere of the room. Emily knew what Alison was saying was true but she also knew that there is always two sides to every story. "You were also the one the let me believed I had a chance with you, the one who let me believe you were dead. You left me confused and alone in the dark trying to find myself and you at the same time. You forget how hard I fought for you against everything and everyone that didn't believe in you when you came back. I pushed for you to love me too for so long…" Alison was staring intently at Emily, her eyes surrendering to Emily's every word. She had hope that this may finally be the time they get to move forward. "I know what it's like to be in love with you Alison, whether you believe it or not. It's the greatest and worst thing in the world because you feel untouchable, invincible even but we always end up stuck in the mud."  
Emily explained taking Alison's hand in her own. It was no longer clear whether this was an argument or long awaited declarations of love. "So you gave up on me?" Alison questioned hurt lacing her voice. "You speak of how I push you away yet your the one with the engagement ring." Alison stared down at her ring for a long time. "I couldn't wait forever Em…" She said very distantly. "That doesn't mean I've given up, I'm still rooting for us." She admitted wiping away the tears that had fallen down Emily's cheek. "God what do you want from me Ali?!" Emily shouted getting frustrated again. She let go of Ali, suddenly finding it suffocating being smothered with so much honesty. She lashed out a few times at the wall behind her, not caring about hurting her hand. "I want you Emily, I always have." She whispered reaching to place her hand on the back of Emily's shoulder. Emily breathed out heavily as she placed her forehead against the wall. "I want you too Ali…" Emily's responded resigned. "…but I'm not the person to come here and talk you out of your wedding. If you were expecting me to tell you how much I love you and how being with Rollins will be a mistake I won't do that-" she said as she turned back around to face the shattered blonde. "You wouldn't have to beg me. Just say the words and I'd leave it all behind for you." Alison pleaded. Desperation was seeping into her voice. "If I've learnt anything about love it's that love is not always enough. I wouldn't want you to walk away from the life you've built for yourself. I'm proud of you I truly am. I see how well you're doing even though I've come and shaken things up. Rollins makes you happy-" Emily continued to explain. "Don't deny it either, I know what you told Spencer and it's okay to move on Ali. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy…even if that's without me." Tears had long been running down both their faces but Alison wiped hers away angrily as she grabbed Emily's shoulders and shook her in anger,"God damn it Emily when will you stop looking out for everyone else and take something for yourself!" Her sudden change shocked both the women in the room. "I couldn't make you happy," Emily uttered honestly. Alison scrunched up her eyebrows. "You don't know that." She stated pulling Emily's chin to make her face her. "The truth is…I don't think I could handle it if it didn't work. It would kill me, I mean I feel so strongly for you and we haven't even been in a relationship…it would break me." Her honesty was met with a quiet gasp from the blue eyed beauty. Emily wasn't surprised when Alison kissed her. This was Alison's last desperate attempt. She grabbed at Emily's hair pulling her impossibly closer. Their lips never parting as Emily turns them around to push Alison into the wall. Their movements were frenzied as hands roamed everywhere, tugging at clothes and snaking up bare backs. The air was electric and the two were close to setting alight. As Alison tried to lift her own shirt but Emily intwined there finds before stepping back. Her forehead lay to rest on the blondes as they stare at each other, breathing fast and heavy. "I love you Ali." She finally whispered. Alison's face couldn't help but light up as she heard the words she had been waiting so long to hear. "And I love you." Alison replied eyes twinkling. She didn't try and stop the brunette as she picked up her bags and walked out the room. Alison quietly watched on in hope.

-End-

I left the ending pretty open so people can decide how they want it to end. Personally I like the mystery of not knowing what Emily does next. Sorry it was superrrrr long but sometimes you get carried away. I still trying to improve so literally inbox me me with suggestions and questions about the prompts/fanfic.


	3. Dark Emily

THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE LOVELY REVIEWS. Please continue to tell me if you like them or not :) send me prompts, whatever just let me know :)

This one slightly darker than the previous but not completely unimaginable considering this show.

Another one of those nights. Her face pale and innocent; hauntingly beautiful. Here she is _again_ , walking through my dreams, I run to catch her but she's gone, hidden. Every time I get close enough to touch her she burns and disintegrates into tiny fragments of ash. In this strange forest filled with the faceless maimed bodies of those I killed; here her face shines brightest, hers frightens me most. _"Ali!"_

 _"Ali!"_

That's when I wake up in a cold sweat again. In darkness alone with my own demons. I check the time to see its only 11pm, I've only been asleep two hours. I know what's going to happen next, it's subconscious now. Before I realise it I'm dressed in a plain black shirt and jeans and leaving my barracks. I'm headed towards inferno nightclub, just on the outskirts of the Texas army base. I'm looking to find anyone, anyone who will make me feel something other than pain, guilt, _fear._

After my short walk I take my usual seat as the bartender Eve says, "what can I get you today Emily?"

A slight smile tugs at the corner of my lips as I answer, "you know what I'm going to say. It never changes."

"Triple vodka and coke coming up." She says winking at me. She has tanned skin, much like my own if not darker, short black hair and dark brooding green eyes. Her accent is slightly different from the usual Texas lot too but I have never bothered to ask anything about her background. Her slender face and oddly dull clothes do not match and scream outsider. She is much like me, obviously not from around here, since everyone else around here fits in, has that Texas charm and southern pride.

I wait a few minutes before she returns with the final of my multiple cold beverages. As she passes it to me she keeps her hand on the glass waiting for me to look up at her. I resist for a second or so but I realise she won't let go until I do it, so reluctantly I look up at her to see everything I didn't want to see written in her eyes. Sadness and _pity_. I've come here far too often for her not to know what's next. She's tried to talk me out of it but there's not much she can do to help.

"Not tonight Emily, Please." She whispers knowingly. In a weird way I think she cares for me or maybe it's just uncomfortable watching someone self destruct over and over. She's right though, I should go, I have been here everyday this week. It's got progressively worse recently, I used to only come here once every two weeks, then once a week, twice a week, but this week has been too _hard._ The hauntings don't let me sleep at night, _she_ won't let me sleep.

"Thanks for the drink Eve." I say in a normal voice, pretending I don't know what she's talking about and carrying on about my business. She lets go and walks away slightly worried but continues working.

I swiveled around on my chair finishing the last drops of the drink and face the dance floor. The hunt begins. Today I didn't have to look around long before my eyes locked with a pair of twinkling blue ones. A quick cunning smile sending the invitation. I look away knowing what this will do to her, playing the game just like always. I look again and there she is looking at me still. She moves her body in a sexy way, gracefully rolling her body twirling and shimming. Dancing in another mans arms yet eyes locked to mine like magnets. I look away one last time but this time to the ground and smile. _One...two...three._ I look up and she's still there but her eyes show it all, she's hooked and the traps set. She couldn't get away now. I make my way to the dancefloor and almost get attacked by a tall, musclular guy. I don't resist, I put my hands on my hips making sure I'm in control, swirling around him teasingly. Those blue eyes spark to life, the rage and immediate jealousy behind them. The atmosphere almost shifts, electric, the air choking as its sweltering and pungent with lust and sin. After a minute or so she's held off long enough and she makes her way to the toilets, never taking her eyes off me. I follow her easily and the next thing I know I can feel the cold toilet walls pressing against my back. Her eyes still twinkling and that spark still behind her eyes. I could tell she believed she was the one who seduced me, but she made it too easy, like all the other the ones. Predictable, the way she fell into this trap like a defenseless animal fell into a snare.

"The names Erin." She says as she kisses my lips gently. I wish she hadn't told me, it only makes it harder when they want more from me. So many of them like to be known, as if I care. I've stopped trying to care for them because when I let them in, they're never enough. Too sweet, too nice, too clingy, not caring enough, not _her._

"Shut up." I say hoarsely against her lips. She jerks back a little shocked by my response, but she knows exactly what she came in here to do. So I whip her around, pushing her front against the cold bathroom stall door. I push into her back roughly and place my cheek by her own. Her face puts on slight scowl and I can feel her about to push me back due to my response. So, I begin to kiss her neck. "Emily." I say biting down the soft skin of her neck. "Hmmm I like that name." She responds quickly. I hate the ones that talk too much, they always want to know more, get more involved. So I almost growl "shut up," again. My lips are roughly back on hers, I can tell she's angry by the sudden pick up in pace. Her hands more frantically pulling on my hair, biting at my lip. This is what I want, _fire, destruction._ I don't waste anytime removing her clothes, I carelessly shove up her dress and rip off her underwear as she frantically runs her hands under my shirt. Tension now building within me, I couldn't wait any longer before connecting intimately with her. The press of breast against breast, my hands working magic with purpose. A feral look in my eyes as her blue ones collapse into the back of her head. This is one of the few times I get to feel alive I've learn over the last years. This is exactly why I came here, to feel the hot flesh of yet another woman underneath me, the sensation inside making me go numb at times, the friction only fuelling the inferno. Moving the blonde streaks of hair out her face so I can see the effect I'm having on her. Hearing her moans and grunts as I control every reaction of her body. Finally I explode sending pleasurable heat to coarse throughout my body and little stars to cloud my vision. In that small moment I feel close, intimate with someone, I feel wanted, loved maybe,- no never loved, _adored_. Then she convulses around me, desperately trying to hold in the loud moans she produces. After a few peaceful moments I put myself back together and begin for the stall door.

"Wait!" She squeaks and reluctantly I turn around to see those large blue eyes again. I realise there never really was a sparkle in them, maybe it was the vodka induced haze and need of human contact that made her seem to sparkle. She's pretty enough but I'm not interested in anything more than a quickie in the bathroom stall.

"Don't you want my number or something?" She asks. I knew this would end bad, the ones that talk are the ones the get hurt the most.

"No, I got what I wanted." I say coldly. She understood quickly and shoved me out the way as she exited. " _Bitch"_ are the last words she leaves me as she hurries off.

I'm back at the bar again and, what was her name? Ellen or something? Is nowhere to be seen. Thank goodness, I'm not one for awkward and angered glares.

"Same again?" Eve asks. I don't bother to look up at her as I nod. The bar is quite empty at this point, with only a handful of people with thier own problems sitting drinking and a few drunk ones at dance floor moving to some depressingly slow music. The drink is infront of me quicker than expected.

"Thanks." I say looking up at her this time. Then I see it again but with something new, that look where she feels sorry for me, pities me and judges me.

"You were gone longer than usual today." She says making conversation.

"Yeah, I guess." I answer sipping the icy cold concoction.

"Will I be seeing you again tomorrow?" She asks curiously.

"Why do you care? You still get your money."

"Suffering from a broken heart are we?" She asks sarcastically. If I wasn't this way I could see myself with her, she seems nice enough and funny too.

"Ha. Are you offering to mend it? I've seen you looking at me, wishing you were one of those girls." I slur out a little.

"Sorry but you're really not my type." She says leaning in a little closer, with a daring look in her black eyes.

"I'm everybody's type." I say raising my eyebrows suggestively. She laughs and walks away to serve a new costumer.

4 more tequilas and a bar fight later I find myself laid in the army base hospital bed with wires and tubes going in and out of everywhere. I don't remember much and don't really know why I'm here. I'm heavily drugged, morphine steadily dripping into me, pulling me into a deep sleep. I feel numb all over, I see my ribs wrapped in bandages before being pulled back to sleep.

When I finally wake up from another dreadful dream, I'm faced with my sergeant and a corporal named Nathe.

"Hello, Fields" She says in her usual manner.

"Heard you got your ass beat during a bar fight kid." Nathe says with a smirk. I roll my eyes as I attempt to remember what happened.

"Yeah you know me, born rebel."

"I'm sending you home Fields." Seargent King says getting straight to the point as usual.

"What? Why?"

"Your behavior Soldier. You need to recover. Afgan isn't something everyone can handle." She explains. I don't see why she should care, I arrive to work on time, complete my work, turn up to training with no complaints.

"I told her you wouldn't want to go." Nathe says knowingly.

"Well it's not a request, it's an order. I spoke to the psychologist, she's convinced you are suffering from PTSD." She answers quickly.

"How long for?" I ask coldly.

"Until you are ready." King explains.

I can't go back to Rosewood, my memories are still vivid and raw. I can't face my past and I most definitely can't face _her._ The thought of seeing _her_ again frightens me, I know she hates me and I know I won't be able to help falling in love with her all over again.

After the Seargent leaves a surprise visitor comes in. An old flame who somehow managed to be stationed at the same camp as me. Paige the rock I had taken for granted. We were friendly now, which is more than I had expected. Silence surrounds us as I think and dread the idea of returning to Rosewood.

"You need to stop all this foolishness. You're gonna get yourself killed one of these days and I know you didn't fight in that war so you could die of alcoholism." She says sternly. I'm honestly stunned at her words, we haven't spoken about the war or my recklessness ever. We joke and keep the atmosphere light, it's always been too hard to talk about it.

"They're sending me home." I manage to push out. She stops checking the monitor above me and looks at me with worry and joy all at the same time.

"Its about time you went home Emily. I bet she misses you more than you think, they all probably do." she says knowingly. Alison had never been a comfortable topic between us but Paige had confronted me years after high school. She had confessed the reason for her leaving for California; she knew I'd never be over Alison and could not be hurt anymore.

"It's all ruined Paige. How can I go back there?" I say almost desperately.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for things out of your control. It's been five years. If you haven't let her go by now isn't it a sign that you never will?" She said as the tears welled up in her eyes.

"I've got something for the dreams too. I asked the doctor, she said take these pills once a day before you sleep." She instructed handing me a set of about 20 tiny yellow pills.

"How did you know?" I asked, I've never told anyone about the dreams and sleepless nights.

"You're in this hospital regularly Emily. I visited you more than you know. You think I haven't heard you call out Alison's name out." She explained.

"I was the one who asked for your medical files to be reviewed." She admitted a few minutes later.

"What? YOU HAD NO RIGHT! I'm a grown woman, I know what's best for me." I shouted loudly.

"I had every right. You are nothing but a scared girl who's taking out her troubles on her self. You're self destructing. It's not right to have almost slept with half of the women in Texas. I won't stand here and watch you tear yourself apart. Go home and put to rest whatever it is that is truly eating away at you." She said sternly before reaching for my hand and swiftly walking out and slamming the door behind her. Everything she said was the brutal truth, and nothing stings more than the truth.

I arrived in rosewood too soon after that. My ribs were still heavily bruised and I was on medication too. Rosewood hadn't changed all that much in five years. The shops and atmosphere was stil as suffocating as ever. I hadn't let anyone know I was coming back, not even my parents. I didn't want to be treated any differently than the old days, but joining the army has a way of putting you in a glass box. When I returned to my childhood home luckily my parents were not home yet. I dropped off my bags into my room before I head out again. I just needed to walk to clear my head, it was spinning incessantly. I didn't even bother to change out of my camouflage uniform before running out the house. I didn't care that my ribs throbbed with hot pain, I kept running. I hadn't realised where I was headed until I reached the remains of an old dusty path with the overgrown woods surrounding. I crept quietly passing trees, feeling leaves and inhaling the woodsy natural scent that surrounded me. A small smile spread across my face as all my good memories flooded back, the rush and joy that overtook me that one magical day at the kissing rock. The freedom and happiness I felt when I was with _her._ I reached the old rock and heard rustling before I realised I wasn't alone. Like fate there she was sitting on the ground, face wet with old tears and twirling a ringin her hand. If this coincidence wasnt just the biggest slap in the face. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move as I stood there staring at her. Her long blonde hair far past her shoulders now, more golden than ever before. Yet she hadn't changed a single bit as I examined her quietly. That's when I realised I was truly in love with Alison Dilaurentis and I always would be. It felt like not a single day had pasted since I left, because here I was smiling and completely captivated by the same girl. She hadn't realised I was there yet but she soon would, it was too late to turn around without being noticed.

"Hello Ali." I started evenly with an apologetic look on my face. She looked up startled, hurriedly wiping away the tears only to be replaced with new ones. She looked as though she had seen a ghost as she took cautious steps towards me. Her eyes were wide like a deer and I thought I was the one to have perfected that deer in the headlights look.

"Em?" She whispered in disbelief. I watched as she struggled with her thoughts, a range of emotions washed over her within that silent minute; from anger to relief to sadness to joy and back to sadness.

"How could you!" She began screaming at me as her voice broke. She pushed me hard repeatedly. Screaming every insult in the book at me. Her crying turned hysterical as she settled her sore red eyes on me.

"Where were you?"

"You LEFT me." She despaired.

"I hate...I really hate you." She choked out pain straining her voice as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I held onto her tightly, it didn't feel real, it felt like a dream. Her tears making my uniform wet but it didn't matter everything was perfect. This is where I belonged, in her arms. I was stupid for ever trying to belong in anyone else's. I was hers and she was mine from the moment we met in this very town many many years ago.

She eventually composed her self and let go of me. She took a few moments studying my face and appearance before making her way to sit on the infamous kissing rock. I followed and waited for her to indicate I could sit with her. I moved next to her and she leaned her head on my shoulder, we shared a minute of silence before she whispered so very quietly, "I got married."

My whole body tensed immediately, it felt like a knife had been driven through my heart. The pain I felt in my ribs was nothing compared to bomb that she had just dropped. For several minutes I had to focus on breathing because I wasn't sure I would remember to anymore. It took a while for me to calm down but I did. Of course she had gotten married, five years is a long time for anyone to wait for something that was never strictly promised. Alison is the most phenomenal woman I have ever known, I'm she sure had no shortage of admirers even with her previous reputation here.

"What's his name?" I asked surprised at the evenness of my voice.

"Rollins" she answered glumly head still on my shoulder. My arm had at some point snaked around her to settle on her waist. "His name is James but everyone calls him Rollins." She elaborated her voice lacking character.

"Hmm" was all I could say. Jealousy ran through my every vein as my mind began imagining such a man for Alison. "Does he make you happy?" I asked after a long while. As cruel as it sounds, I needed validation that leaving was the worst and stupidest thing I had ever done. I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear. The more sane parts of me wanted to hear that she had moved on without too much pain, that her husband made her happy, that he made sure she was living her life to the fullest. The darker and more selfish parts of me wanted her to tell me how big my mistake was, how she too had been stuck in hell, I wanted her to tell me how miserable she had been without me and shout at me for not coming back sooner. I wanted her to tell me that even now she still needed me, just like I still needed her. "Yes." Even though I had considered both answers to the question, the answer was still a surprise to hear. "Then why were you crying?" I countered. "You and I both know there's only one person who could ever truly make me happy" she answered fatigue slipping into her voice. "Are you in love with him?" I pressed, curiosity lacing my voice. I turned to face her but she did not look at me. "Yes," she said far more quieter than before. My heart was already heavy that this blow did little to add to the pain going on inside. Something about the way she had said it had made me question where it was a lie or not. Finally she turned to face me, her eyes glassy with tears. She watched me carefully, her guard obviously up in her stormy ocean eyes. I couldn't prevent the smile that came across my face as I stared at her. I was still in awe. "There are things I love about him." She stated more honestly. A light pink coloured her cheeks as she looked away from my eyes. Her eyes couldn't stay away for long though, they were back locked with mine once more. I moved closer to her face never breaking eye contact, until our lips crashed together. It wasn't desperate or rushed or weighted with expectation of more. It was a kiss shared between friends with undefined boundaries, a kiss we both needed to momentarily soothe the void in our hearts. Something shared to forget about the loneliness that tugged at me with each passing day. I broke away from the kiss as I felt my own salty tears seep between our lips. "Why do you think it hasn't worked between us?" I asked contemplating the idea.

"I don't know Emily. I've asked myself that more times than I can recall." She said lightly as she drew patterns on the back of my hand. For the first time in over 2 years I felt at peace. For many years now anxiety was itching in my mind constantly tormenting me to no end. I never felt at peace or still, I always felt moving and rushing. Alison was my home, my serenity and my peace. I would always be weak for Alison, weak for those big blue orbs that bore straight into her soul. I would always marvel at her beauty and I wondered if i would always be addicted to Alison's presence. I didn't look or want to speak about the wedding ring on Alison's finger, it was just a reminder of the very valuable thing I had thrown into someone else's awaiting arms. "I bet you wish you never met me." Alison stated not moving to look at me. I wondered what was going through the blondes mind but knew better than to ask. "I'd never wish that." I responded after a while. Suddenly Alison's phone began vibrating causing both of us to jump in shock. She looked at the name for a while before meeting my eyes once more. I didn't have to look to know it was Rollins calling. I could see her pleading with me to tell her to not answer it. "Answer it," I said with a sad smile on my face. I could see the momentarily disappointment in her eyes as she stood and answered th

e phone. _"Hey Rollins...no it's okay, I'll come home soon..."_ I listened to the worried voice on the other end of the phone. Even from this short conversation I could tell Rollins cared a lot for Alison. " _Don't worry I'm safe...I-, uh, love you too."_ Alison barely managed to get the last few words out. I watched as something I recognised as guilt flashed across her face. I stood to bring her into another embrace, she didn't resist. I inhaled her unique always light floral scent before I stepped back. "I know you have to go, so I'll see you soon okay?" I asked vulnerability evident in my voice. Ali attempted to smile but it barely reached her cheeks. I couldn't bare to watch her walk away so I closed my eyes as I slumped back onto the rock.


	4. Hanna isn't right, is she? 5 x07

Taking us wayyyy back to season 5, remember that time? When emison was just within reach and then it was snatch away from us...MARLENE. No shade...just lots of sadness.

Please review and send love :) anymore prompts send them my way. I'm going to try and update maybe every few days but at least once a week.

"You had no right to nearly out Ali in front of my mother, Han." Emily says clearly annoyed. "I'm not apologising for it. I'm sick to death of watching Ali play victim." Hanna responds just as annoyed. "She's not playing the victim, she is the victim, or have you already forgotten that she was on the run for two years?" I can't help but smile at Emily's valiant effort to defend me. "I haven't forgotten that, but I also haven't forgotten the girl who left two years ago, but you might have." There's a silence between the two girls. "She's changed. She's different now. She's sincere and genuinely vulnerable, Hanna. You would be able to see that if you actually gave her a chance and didn't spend all your time drinking. You're getting out of control." Emily stated, her voice much softer, and I can just imagine the softness in her eyes as she said it. "Don't make this about me. You're falling for her all over again and it scares you because I might be right about her." The silence that follows scares me. Scares me because Hanna might have struck a chord. As much as I want to change, the question is, can someone truly ever change and that is the question I am still asking myself. "You're wrong," is all Emily manages to say. "Am I? Has she really changed or just got better at hiding it?" Hanna contests. "Regardless of what you think Hanna, we all need this story to stay intact or we are all incriminated by it." Emily finally replies.

"You're mom wasn't buying that story, Em. No one is. Everyone is beginning to see through her stories and facade. You're just too far up her ass to see it." Hanna whispered harshly at Emily. I was listening from behind. Hanna had said enough, and what we didn't need right now was the girls falling apart. I peered out from behind Emily, causing Hanna to look up and roll her eyes and head for the door. "Have a nice walk." Emily said coldly as Hanna stormed out. I watched her take a deep breath and lean her head against the door. Everything seemed to be rapidly pulling apart and I needed to do something to hold it together. I walked over to Emily and placed my hands on her shoulders. I hoped it was calming and it had the effect I desired when she sighed out and her muscles relaxed underneath my fingers. "I'm sorry about Hanna, she's just…" She trailed off turning around to face me. I could tell her showdown with Hanna had shaken her up, or at least shaken up her thoughts. I'm sure some of what Hanna said was about how I couldn't be trusted and when everything is pointing against me, I wouldn't blame Emily for believing her. "I just thanked your mom, thanks for having me over, Em," I said picking up my bag. I had done what I had intended to do tonight, persuaded Emily's mother of my innocence, whether she believed me or not was a different story all together. "You don't have to leave because of Hanna," Emily pleaded looking at me, her eyes as honest as ever. "I'm not, but I do have to go." I said bringing her in to a hug. I could get used to this. We were in unmarked territory. We had kissed long into the night the other day, and even after the argument over Mona, Emily was my rock. I don't know where it's headed between us but I'm waiting for Emily to decide to take a chance on me. If I just close my eyes, I can see us, really see us together and I want it so badly. "Are you okay getting home by yourself?" Emily asked as I began to walk out. "Emily, I'll be fine." I said giving her a genuine smile.

Once home, I changed into some dark clothing before heading out again. The girls don't trust me and I know that, but I can't let that ruin the kidnapping story and put us all, especially Aria, in a terrible position. The girls are more worried about if they can trust me and finding out about Bethany, which means I have to be the one in charge of taking an initiative and making sure it doesn't fall apart. So when I head out to meet Noel at the Kahn cabin, I don't let anyone know. The girls don't realise this now, but I'm doing everything to protect them. I always have. I'll be the bad guy today if it means we have the police off our backs. Maybe I still am the same manipulative Alison that left here, but that exact attitude is what kept me alive for over two years on the run. The difference is that I now know that people aren't just there to be toyed with and I can't treat the people I love like I own them. Which is why I don't fill the girls in on the plan to break into Hanna's house. They will see the girl that used people and I don't want that. I can't have Emily see me that way ever again. I know if I tell them they won't agree and I'll do it anyway, leaving me in the same position as ever. It's not like I can ask them for help, apart from sweet Emily, none of them are willing to truly give me a chance. They're waiting for me to trip up and prove them right. Hanna is falling apart with each day that goes by. I see that she's struggling with her identity because of my return and she's being pushed by Caleb and the stress of A. I get it, I do, but there isn't time for that because everything is just a short string from unravelling completely. When I leave Noel's, I have a plan set. That's all I seem to be doing these days, planning for an attack I can't even see which direction it will be coming from.

I return home again, back to the big and empty house that's filled with more ghosts and bad memories than a haunted house. Jason is gone and so is my dad, and I can't shake the feeling someone is watching me. Immediately I dial Emily's number. She's the only person on my side and I honestly just wanted to see her again. "Hello." She answers rather distantly. "I'm worried that A's gonna do something again tonight, can you come over?" I ask, vulnerability evident in my voice. "Fine," is all she responds before putting the phone down. I'm baffled by her reaction, to say the least. I mean, she's been nothing but understanding and her sweet self all day andI can't seem to wrap my head around it.

I don't expect her in my room as quickly as she is, our phone call having been only a few minutes prior. "How did you get here so quickly?" I asked, sitting up on the bed. "We were at Spencer's," she replies unhappiness written across her face. I keep my face neutral, hiding the tiny pang of pain it causes me that the girls exclude me from their meetings. Emily watches me from the doorway carefully dissecting me in her head. Perhaps I was too fast to hope there might be a chance for us. I can tell she still hasn't figured out her feelings for me. Her conversation with Hanna was enough proof. "Spencer saw you leave your house tonight, Ali." Emily finally admits, staring me straight in the eyes. How far she has come from the girl I left behind. She's almost fearless now, having courage to call me out. Honestly, it shocks me and knocks me off kilter. I don't let it show on my face, but take a second to reply. I can't help the smile that comes across my face; both from my happiness at Emily's growth and at the girls'. Of course I would be under tabs by Spencer. "What's funny?" Emily asks moving closer to the bed. "The girls thinking I'm still Ali, the big bad wolf." I say shaking my head. "Did you come here to confront me about where I went tonight, Emily?" I challenge her, tilting my head to the side as she sits on my desk chair. She's silent for a minute as she thinks before she shakes her head, obviously making up in her mind to give me the benefit of the doubt. "No, I came here because you needed me." She says finally relaxing. I can't help the (hopefully) slight blush that I feel flash across my face. "Thank you for sticking up for me with Hanna earlier, you seem to be doing a lot of that lately." I say honestly. Emily finally gives me her beautiful smile, dimples prominent. With each second I spend with her, I'm falling for her more and more, and it scares me because I'm ready to give her my heart. I've never done that before because I know that I'll lose all control over myself. I feel it more and more everyday; that Emily is the one calling the shots, that Emily is the one testing me and pushing me to my limits. It's frightening. Her smile sends my heart into a frenzy and it almost stops when she joins me on the bed. "I'll stay until you fall asleep, okay?" She asks kindly. I nod in fear that my voice won't stay steady. Surprisingly, she gets under the covers with me. The night I had stayed in her room she had strictly sat on top of the blanket while I slept, probably in fear that I would kiss her or she would kiss me when she still wasn't clear on her feelings. If this was Emily taking a step in my direction, I wouldn't push her. So I laid down next to her and only reached for her hand. She didn't resist as I slipped my fingers into hers. And maybe, just maybe, I was one step closer to being with the person who had crept up on me and stolen my heart.

Shout out to amilli0nreasons

For editing my stuff :)


	5. Wedding Day

I had a lot of fun writing this one. Prompt based on what Emily does on the day of Alison's wedding. Follow me on tumblr too: notourtimeemison

Much love :))) review, enjoy.

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"Time!" Hanna called out. "We've got an hour before it starts." Aria replied passing me a dress. "Hanna you can't be serious. This is too short." I say examining the teasing plunge line and the length of the small dress. "There's no such thing, I mean it will make it harder to say no to you when you're in that dress" she replies checking her mirrors before she quickly over takes the two cars in front. The swerving and speed had me falling onto Aria. "Han could you maybe slow it down," I ask rubbing my head where I just banged it. "No time." She swerved past another car just as she said that. "Emily put on the dress," Hanna demands as she eyes me from the front. "Was it not bad enough that you made me change into lingerie, in a speeding car, in front of you?!" I ask incredulously. "What shoes did you bring?" Aria asks attempting to change the subject. I slip on the tight dress that just about covers my ass. "Flats, I'm already taller than Ali, I don't need a pair of six inches." I say as I manage to sit back down. Aria laughs as she shakes her head. "Emily you are hopeless." Hanna says laughing along with Aria. I start putting on my make up using the mirror Aria is holding up. I nearly poke my eye out with eyeliner a few times due to Hanna's driving. I wonder who's idea it had been to let her drive. Once done I finally sit down and quietly think about what I'm doing. After a while panic hits me like a truck. "I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't be doing this, it's mad, it's completely nuts, this is Cece level crazy." I ramble out all in one go. "Emily breathe!" Hanna shouts from the drivers seat. I run my hands through my hair for the thousandth time in the last 15 minutes. Well I think it's been 15 minutes, but surely it can't be. The 'Welcome to Rosewood' sign already coming into view. However Hanna is driving like the road limits don't apply to her so that may explain the time. "Stop the car, I have to get out." I say suddenly finding it difficult to breathe. My chest begins feeling tighter and airways feeling constricted as I heave in the oxygen. I feel a hand on my back rubbing soothingly. "I think she's having a panic attack, Han." Aria calls out to Hanna from the back. "For God sake Emily get it together," Hanna's voice is evidently annoyed as I feel the car pull up on the side of the road. I pull open the door and fall out onto the floor. The fresh cold air hits me in the face kickstarting my lungs. I keep taking deep breaths for a minute before I'm fully calm. When I do look up I see Hanna staring down at me with her arms folded and a 'no games' look on her face. "Maybe you drove too fast Han, I mean you nearly ran over _several_ people leaving Philly." Aria says understandingly. Hanna just shakes her head at me. It had really been quite comical though, watching Hanna and Aria run towards me in their bridesmaid dresses, makeup half done and hair still with rolling pins. They had all but lifted me and thrown me into the car in the space of approximately 3 minutes. "Have you guys forgotten what we are doing here?!" Hanna asked incredulously. I hadn't, how could I? That was why I was having a panic attack in the first place. Hanna had incessantly called me for a week telling me to get my 'stupidly sexy, too beautiful for life, stubborn butt' back to Rosewood. When the invitation for Alison's wedding had arrived, it had taken me almost a month to open it and read the letter she had sent with it. To say it hurt was not explanatory enough, I had literally gone into depression because of my heartache. Maybe I was stubborn but I believed Alison no longer wanted me. The letter had been hand written for me, with tear stains on it. It somehow helped me get myself together. I had got a job at the clinic within the next week and started to find myself again. Even though she had no idea she had aided me when my life was very dark. I had finished university, and I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, I had no one remotely special in my life and I truly was just _lost_. The letter had read,

 _' Hello Emily,  
Gosh why does that sound so formal. I'm not used to writing letters like this I guess. Am I just supposed to write what's in my head or do I get straight to the point? I don't know, so I'll do what I think is right. By now you will have seen the wedding invitation. I know it's only a couple of months away but I was really hoping you would come. The other girls have agreed to be bridesmaids but I won't request you join them, if you're not comfortable. I didn't know whether to call you or not, if you would like to speak to me then it's all in your hands; seeing as you changed your number. I know there's not much contact between the two of us now but I would love to see you here, for me. I won't blame you if you don't come. There's a lot history between us and I'm not sure how I will handle it when it's your turn, I'm already jealous of the blessed woman. Now that I'm moving on with my life I know that I cannot step through one door when I have left the other open, so I would like to apologise for the times that I hurt you. I am truly sorry. I wish we could have worked out. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say that but it's the truth. Even if I don't see you again, I hope you are happy.  
Love Ali.'_

I had read it over a thousand times and I decided that I would not go, I would allow her to love her life without painful reminders from the past.

Yet even after that, here I am back in Rosewood to stop the wedding. _Stop the wedding_ , God that sounds crazy. I'm thankful that Hanna, Spencer and Aria had opened my eyes. If I didn't try to stop this then I would probably lose her forever, and end up regretting it the rest of my life.  
"I haven't forgotten what we are doing here, believe me. I just needed a minute to think," I reply getting back into the passengers seat. Once Hanna is back in the car she's doesn't wait to drive off. "You've had years to think Emily. You and Ali have been in love since like 1801, it's time you finally admitted it." Hanna replied animatedly. "Yeah Hanna's right," Aria adds from the back. "Aria I'm surprised you agree with this," I state turning to face her. In times of panic Aria is the voice of reason, and I need her to tell me if what I'm doing isn't completely insane. "I mean I had to be talked round and there could have been better timing than the day of the wedding, however it is all very romantic. It's like something from a film." She replies with an honest smile. "Why didn't Spencer come?" I ask genuinely curious as to why the other brunette is absent. "She's with Mona keeping Ali busy," aria answers beginning to finish off her make up. "That, and she's the only one who can stand to be in a room with Cece for more than 5 minutes." Hanna adds. I have no idea what I am walking into. This is by far the most impulsive thing I have ever done. I'm not sure I've thought it through. I've not even started thinking about what I'm going to say. I had just booked a ticket yesterday evening and hopped on the plane a few hours later. The panic starts to rise in me again. "Oh God, I'm not sure I can do this guys. I mean it's her wedding day for God sake," I say as I see the church come into sight. "Emily yes you can," Aria replies softly placing a hand on my shoulder. "I don't even know if I'll have a job tomorrow, I just up and left. What have I done?" I say frustrated as the car pulls round the back. Hanna pulls up the car before turning to face and look me right in the eyes. "Emily you need to at least try. You may not have a job tomorrow but you may have the love of your life. Those don't come around as often as jobs do okay." Hanna said placing her hands on my shoulders. I nod my head as I try to calm my breathing. "Go and get your girl Emily," Aria says as Hanna reaches over and opens the door. I take a quick look in the mirror and sort out my hair before Hanna all but pushes me out. "Go, it's the third door on the left."A huge smile crosses her face. I take one last breath before I begin running for the church.

I open the doors to the back of the church and see Spencer poke her head out from the door down the corridor. A smile is plastered on her face as she signals me over with her hand. I run over to her and begin for the door before she stops me with her hand. I look at her confused before she points to my shoes causing me to roll my eyes. "Hey Cece, Mona; I need your help out here," she calls into the room she is currently preventing from getting into. The two women come out and immediately notice Emily. They both smile to Spencer before pulling me into the opposite room. "We will be right back Ali," is all I hear before the door shuts and the women are squealing. "I can't believe you came," ; "this is is so romantic,"; and "Emily, I missed you," all three women say at the same time as they hug me. "I was under the impression that time was running out," I say to them. "Yes but you are not seeing my sister with those on," Cece says pointing at my shoes. I roll my eyes as the three women begin to work on me. I feel Cece pulling at my shoes and putting me into some heels, Mona is at my hair with a brush and some curlers and Spencer is fondling with my boobs and fixing my make up. Within a minute they are done and appreciating their work. "Now you are ready," Mona says linking arms with Cece. It's all very odd the relationships and interactions with Cece. I suppose the others all had time to get used to it when they returned to Rosewood. Before I head for the door Cece hands me a red rose, "why do you think I never outed you on that night in your bedroom, I've always been rooting for you." She whispers in my ear. I'm not sure what to think of that as I stare down at the woman who had tormented me for so long. I don't have time to think about it either as Spencer pushes me out into the corridor with a wink and a little smack of butt.

I breathe in and out slowly as I count to five then knock on the White door. "Rollins that better not be you," I hear her voice filled with happiness and amusement. I almost afraid to walk in now but I know it is literally now or never. I open and shut the door and take two full steps before looking up at her. She's not facing me when I look up, she's looking in the mirror and I can only see her dress and flowing blonde hair, that now sits low on her back. My eyes are wide as she turns around and my breath is stolen from my lungs as I take her in. She's breathtaking. I drop the flower in my hand in absolute shock at seeing her after all the years I had gone without. Questioning myself, how did I manage even a single day? If I thought she was beautiful before, time has only made her blossom more. She wears a fitting mermaid style white dress with sequins around the chest that is simply gorgeous. Her face though, that's what takes me back. Her blue eyes dazzling with the dark eye makeup and light pink lipstick to go with it. Her hair is styled with a plait along the middle. "Emily?" She questions, bringing me out of my trance. Her own eyes having looked me up and down appreciatively, however shock was evident on her features. I go to speak but my mouth is dry and I don't even know where to start. She notices me and takes a few steps towards me looking me in the eyes before pulling me into an embrace. I hold on tightly to her as I take in her truly missed vanilla scent. "You look radiant," I whisper into her ear. "So do you," she says burying her face in my hair. "I know..."I say with a new found confidence. "that was a joke," I say a second later, causing her to laugh. I can feel her laugh against me and I revel in having her so close. I'm reluctant to let go and I can tell she is too but I finally decide to pull away and take a step back so I can have room to think without just pulling her into a kiss, because lord knows that's what I've wanted to do since I walked into the room. "I can't belie-" she begins as I say, "you're gettin-" we both laugh shyly looking away from each other. I just know a blush has crept onto my face as I feel my face getting hot. "You first," I say smiling at her. "I can't believe you came, I honestly thought I was never going to see you again." She says as she gives me that most jaw dropping smile I've missed. I almost forget to talk as I keep gawping at her. She smirks this time as she surely notices I'm lost for words. "It was a last minute decision, I, uh-" I say beginning to stumble my words. I close my eyes and take a second to gather my thoughts as her mere presence distracts me completely. "It was a last minute decision to get on the plane and come here. I've been travelling since yesterday and have not had a single second to just think about what I want to say to you." I say subconsciously stepping towards her again. It's not until I reach for her hand I realise how close I am again, and how I'm beginning to get lost in her eyes all over again. I gather all the confidence and courage I have as I look into her all knowing cerulean blue eyes. "I ran here for you. I ran here because...because, I couldn't let you marry someone else before I let you know how I feel." Shock registers across her features with every word I say. "I am still in love with you Alison. I know it's been five years but I can tell you right now that the distance has sorely been felt. I know now, in these few minutes of being in this room with you, that I love the new person you are, even if I don't know her. I was stupid all those years ago, I should have fought for you, instead I let you go to Lorenzo. I should never have forced myself into something with Sara when every time I looked at her I wanted to see you. I should have never left for college without taking you with me. I know this is crazy, I know this isn't the best time but please...just please, don't do this, if there is even just a small part of you that still misses me." I say. Tears having already rolled down my cheeks. I watch as she takes her hand back from me, tears have welled up in her own eyes too. I can tell I have caught her off guard as she continues to look at me with wide eyes, obviously searching my eyes for, _something_.

She paces for several minutes. Up and down, up and down, the length of the room. Anticipation gathers up in my chest with every second she doesn't say anything. She sits down at the chair by her cosmetics and mirror. She's baffled and I can tell because she has shaken her head several times. "I don't know what you want me to say?" A tear escapes her eye. "Honestly, I was hoping you would say you still felt something for me." I answer meekly. "Even if I say it, it won't change anything," she says as more tears flow down her face. "If you say it, and you really mean it, it will change everything." I say my voice straining. "It's my wedding day Emily!" She whispers anger seeping into her tone. "I know it's not the best timing-" I begin to say as she cuts me off. "It's the worst possible timing. You had five years. I was waiting." She replies sadness evident in her features. Disappointment alight in her eyes as she stares straight into my soul, dissecting and exposing all of me. I was terrified of what she would say. I was scared that she would say no and tell me to leave but I was frightened that she might say yes. This had my heart beating hard and fast in my chest. I could physically feel the strain of blood in my veins. The silence in the room only seemed to make it beat harder and faster. "I was stupid, I should said something sooner." I say as I kneel in front of her. This time when I take her hands she pulls back so quickly, like my touch actually burnt her. "I gave you a chance to stop me Emily, you think I sent that letter because I wanted you to come to my wedding. I wanted you to stop me then. You never came. I wanted _you_ Emily, but you never came. You can't do this to me now," Alison's voice raised with every word till she broke down into tears. I didn't know what to do, I was hurting her again. Her sobs were loud and they were powerful as I watched her whole body convulse with every cry out.

A fire ignited inside of me as I watched her almost weep. I will fight for her harder than I have for anything ever in my life. "I'm sorry Alison! I am sorry" I said clearly and passionately as I held her face in my hands forcing her to look at me. I held her there as she took in my words, I needed her to hear me. "I'm sorry for not staying loyal to you all those years ago. I'm sorry that I let you believe that I didn't care about you when we had the chance to start again. And I am sorry for abandoning you, when you needed me the most. I am honestly and wholeheartedly sorry for all of it." Her sobs had stopped so she could stare at me. I could tell that it had set off something inside her, she didn't realise she had been waiting for me to say that to her. I wasn't surprised when she kissed me and I marvelled in it. Marvelled in the feeling of her lips against mine, how soft they were, how they fitted mine as if they were made for mine. I reached up on my knees to be closer to her as my hands got lost in her hair. I was lost in everything Alison and there were no longer boundaries to where I ended and she began. I never wanted this moment to end because as she allowed my tongue entry I got lost in her further and further. Our lips and teeth and tongues clashed in this epic battle of love. I didn't know what this would prove but it was desperate and filled with spark. It ignited us both, leaving my skin tingling and ablaze like she had set my very body on fire. I was up in flames and I was up in heaven. Her mouth was sweet yet scotching and her hands pulling me closer had my eyes rolling into the back of my head. The were moans and gasps as my lips moved to her neck. I needed to breathe but if I stopped I didn't know whether this would be the last time. I didn't know if it had been seconds or minutes but a knock on the door kicked us both back down to earth. It was like being dunked in ice cold water.

I stare at her as we both get our breath back. Her eyes remain closed and lips parted and her head tilted to the sky. Her hair is slightly messy and my red lipstick has left a mark on her face and a trail down her neck. There's a knock again before she quickly turns away from me instead to the mirror and begins re-applying her make up. "Y-yes," her voice comes out uncharacteristically wavy. "It's me sweetheart. Everyone is ready, I just wanted to hear your voice one last time before...we are actually married," he says joy evident in his voice. I see a pained expression come across Alison's face. I see guilt on her face and I instantly feel dread. Dread that I didn't do enough, that she has actually moved on. She clears her throat before she answers attempting to sound upbeat, "you know you can't see me before the wedding Rollins." There is a soft thud against the door, I can imagine him banging his head against the door. After all he is set to marry Alison Dilaurentis, perhaps the most beautiful woman on earth. The woman I had stupidly let go and thrown away with both hands. For the first time in my life the song, 'Best Thing I Never Had', by Beyoncé comes to mind. "Please Ali bear, you can put the partition up and I won't peek, I swear," he pleads with her. The atmosphere in the room is currently at an all time awkward as Alison looks away from me and stands behind the partition in the corner of the room. Her eyes are still watery and with every pat of foundation another tear falls. I look at her one last time before she fully disappears behind the partition. "Come in, then." She says. Her voice seems lighter than a few minutes ago. I turn to the door as he comes in. He is surprised to see me but a charming smile appears on his face as he says jokingly, "why Ali I do like the new hair colour?" I can see what Alison probably sees in him. He seems kind, charming and genuine; everything Alison needs after everything. I laugh as good nature. He looks at my face, which reminds me I had probably forgotten to wipe away my tears and may have Ali's make up on my face. I think a flash of sadness comes across his face, but by the time I think to register it, it's gone. There's another awkward silence as Alison fails to say anything but we can both her sniffles from where we stand. I see the cogs in his head work overtime to figure out the situation. Understanding dawns across his face as I continue to just look at him, not exactly sure what to say. I was envious of him, he seemed to have it together, he was handsome, a doctor from what I had heard and had Alison. Jealousy when it came to Alison never sat well with me. A genuine smile spreads across his face before he puts out his hand, " you must be Emily. It's a pleasure to meet you." I smile back at him and shake his hand. I head towards the door to give the two a private moment, as he catches my wrist, "I'm glad you came Emily, Alison has obviously missed you." He says kindly. I pick up the Rose that I had accidentally discarded earlier. I open the door only to see a crowd of brides maids step back quickly, acting as if they had not been pressed up against the door. Mona, Cece and my other three friends share a look between themselves. No one speaks as I wait by the door. I keep chanting in my head, that it's still not over, 'Pip gets Estella in the end' comes to mind.

An older woman, I'm assuming to be Rollins mother, walks over and ushers the women away to take position. "It's time Son, you better not have seen her already!" She calls out with a smile. "Alison dear your father is waiting," she adds before looking at me. "The guests are already seated..." She signals for a name, "Emily." Her face lights up, "were you the other bridesmaid?" I'm unsure if I was included so I just nod. "We have a couple of minutes if you can change that quickly," she begins for the bridesmaids room. "It's okay, I'm not sure I'll be staying." I answer honestly. "That's a great shame dear, I heard the other girls talking about you." She says just when Rollins walks out. He offers me a smile before his mother literally drags him away. I walk back into Alison's room as she fixes her hair in the mirror. "So you're going to go through with it." I state rather than ask. She doesn't look at me but continues to fix her appearance. "When have I ever not gone through with something." She says poetically. "I know you still care about me Ali." Her eyes snap to mine when I call her out. "Don't do this,"she responds her voice dangerously low, warning a threat in her voice. I am not backing out easy however. "Not until you tell me the truth, to my face," she whips around and steps towards me like she will say something. Instead she simply holds my glare. I curse myself as I feel the tears escape my eyes once more. She looks away as if it's too much for her. My heart begins to race when I hear the music of the church start to play, the church bells ringing loudly. I'm running out of time. "Ali, just say the words and I will take you anywhere you want to go. I'll spend the _rest_ of my life making you happy." Desperation seeps into my voice now. "I can't do that, don't you get it, this is my wedding day." She is angry and I see her trying not cry again. She picks up her flowers and adjusts her veil. I grab her hand before she can cover her face. "Alison _please_ ," I beg shamelessly. "If I choose you then I can't stay here," she says looking up at me pained. "We can go to Cali, or Paris or wherever you want to go." I say frantically. "I have a life here,"she tries again. "Your life won't end if you're with me." She's debating in her mind and she's panicking, I can see it in her eyes as she looks between me and the door. " _I love you_ Alison Dilaurentis, that should be enough." I say holding on tighter because with every second I feel her slipping away. A loud knock on the door causes us to go rigid. This is bite time, she has to make her decision. "Alison we have to go," I hear Kenneth call out. I stare back at her bringing her chin to look me in the eyes. "Ali _please_ ," I whisper pleadingly. "Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't love me, tell me that, and I'll walk away and won't look back...I promise." I say knowing I've caught her in a trap. Her eyes widen. She barges past me for the door after whispering, "I can't." I grab at her again before she can make the door. Her father knocks again louder, "Alison come on." She looks at me as I hold her wrist tightly. "Then, I can't let you marry him." I say challengingly. "If you ever cared about me then you won't do this." She's says leaving me standing shattered in the room.

It takes a few seconds to register what is happening and I rush out the room after her. I have no idea which way to go and I get lost twice before I finally spot Alison linked with her father about to walk in. She turns to me with the veil on. I sprint faster than my legs have ever carried me before, the 40 meters to her and her father seem like 40 miles. But the huge church doors have already opened, people are already cheering. When I'm right in front of her I see her watery stormy blue eyes beg for me to let her go, and so I do. I take a breath and attempt to give her my most radiant smile.

"I bought you a rose, to go with your flowers...something to remember me by." I say pushing it into her bundle. I stroke my hand across hers one last time before giving her father a smile to signal they can continue. I stayed standing at the door as I saw my love walk down the aisle into the arms of another. I walked away when he held her in his arms. I felt sick, physically ill. I walked away head held down, I guess I was too late. What had I been thinking, after five years I could walk in and she would drop everything for me? It sounds absolutely insane.

I didn't make it far. I walked to the steps of the church and sat down.

It wasn't even a minute before I heard a loud collective gasp from behind. When I stood and turned around Alison was running towards me. She was running towards _me_. I pinched myself because I would literally die if this is was a dream. "Emily!" She shouted as she reached me. She jumped into my straight into my arms. She held me so tightly. "I can't breathe Ali," I said into her hair. "I don't care," she said with a laugh, and in that moment I didn't care either. The only thing that mattered was that she was holding on. "I still love you," the greatest words I had ever heard. 

A much more hopeful ending than the other ones. It's about time Emily stopped playing and got her girl.


End file.
